When You Feel That Your are Powerless.

Desires abound in my mind. I wish for things to change. The change I seek sounds and looks so pure inside my imagination that it makes reality seem like an evil being plotting against me on every step I walk. I look for the change thinking that because is coated with a veil of goodwill brought upon by my own machination, what I want will inevitably become mine with the pass of time. But nothing could be farther from the truth. 

No matter what I do, the world is indifferent to my needs. Instead, it tries to cater to the general population of society to give comfort to the majority instead of a single few. And this is not wrong. I am no king. And who am I to say that my needs a greater than the ones from some else? Especially when I don’t know what other people have suffered, or worse, what they currently are suffering. My desires are not the greater good the world is so desperately in need, and so I must respect my current circumstances.

But for the sake of my sanity, I will show and express openly my pain. The pain that brings being powerless. I am drowning in debt. I hate it, and I want to pay it now or as soon as possible. I want to end this and become strong. I want to have the strength to take on a difficult life and triumph over it. And this is what I seek. Being powerless might live me breathless, but it won’t live me hopeless. I refuse to say that my current self will remain powerless. I will extract the first 5 letters of that word and make it my own. God willing with Godspeed.