Waking Up Feeling Miserable.

It’s been a while since I wrote anything on this blog. I think more than 2 weeks have passed without a single new letter being typed on this place. But it feels longer to me. Well, with this consistency of writing, so long to the idea of making this a new little source of income. But I don’t care much about that. To be honest, I don’t have any faith in making this something that can make me money. I don’t believe I have the abilities to do so, and I don’t like the idea of writing anything that feels forced. Makes me feel off. 

This place is my cave so I can scream and get some relief so I don’t feel like I am going to die any second out of anxiety and stress. Today particularly, I woke up feeling miserable for many private reasons. It feels painful. My eyes feel heavy. My mind is adrift in space flying higher than any bird of prey. I know people that suffer more than me with their own struggles in life. So I don’t want to be the ungrateful, pathetic, coward who thinks that the world exists to cater to my every whim.

But what a lie to myself would it be if I were to say: “I feel great today”. I know that having the ability to smile in the face of adversity is something invaluable. It shows the strength of the person in question. But I still don’t have that strength. Now, to end this in maybe a lighter note so I don’t go back to my own business like a walking corpse, I want to always remember, this is only a moment in time. Not an eternal frame in time. So God willing, and me fighting, things can hopefully get better.