Self-Inflicting Pain Tolerance.

Have you ever committed mistakes so easily avoidable but which create horrible consequences and leave you with the desire of committing suicide for your stupidity? I have lost count of them already. Looking back, and taking a seat to calm down, those mistakes don’t seem so catastrophic. But they still feel too heavy and painful for me. Losing $50.00 of my salary because I didn’t check in according to the system in my workplace is brutal for me. Almost make’s me want to cry.

But I have done it so many times that I feel like I might have a masochist inside the closet. I hope not. I feel enough pain through my own stupidity and ineptitude. I don’t need women dressed in leather whipping me. I don’t know what to do except keep trying to be more disciplined and avoid mistakes. Every time a commit one, I will try to stand up to myself again and fix my own shortcomings so I can find meaning and happiness in my life. Otherwise, I should officially be on suicide watch. Let’s hope not. I like living. As painful as it is. 

♫ May God bless and keep you always

May your wishes all come true

May you always do for others

And let others do for you

May you build a ladder to the stars

And climb on every rung

May you stay

Forever young

May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you

May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
And may you stay
Forever young

May your hands always be busy

May your feet always be swift

May you have a strong foundation

When the winds of changes shift

May your heart always be joyful

May your song always be sung

And may you stay

Forever young ♫

Forever Young - Bob Dylan